caffeinated kaycie

Confessions

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Hello Everyone! I've had this post idea for a while and I am finally putting it into words! Something I've been trying to do lately is live my life more authentically and fully, and one way to do that is by coming to grips with some things about myself! This post is titled "Confessions" and it's going to be all things that I've come to realize about myself and my life lately that maybe aren't the easiest to admit. Some things are serious, and some are funny, but all are real. I hope you enjoy reading this post as much as I enjoy writing it! 

1. I Get Frustrated Very Easily

... and over very silly things. The dog walks up to me and puts his wet, slobbery, gross mouth on my leg, and I push his face away. Asa scrapes his fork on his plate, and I give him a death glare. There are too many people in line at Dunkin Donuts, and I let out a frustrated sigh. I get frustrated very easily, at very silly things. I need to work on my patience and general outlook on day to day life. Do those things really matter? Are they really worth getting frustrated over? Nope. This is something I need to improve on greatly.

2. I Drink WAY Too Much Coffee

Yes, I am finally admitting how much of a coffee-aholic I really am. Asa has been telling me for years that I'm addicted to it, and he's probably right. I get headaches if I don't have at least a cup in the morning, and then I usually drink two or three more throughout the day. While I know there are probably worse things to drink that much of, it's still not the healthiest. I should probably start cutting back on my coffee intake. 

3. I Really Like to be In Control

Maybe I have a little bit of a control issue... maybe. This is probably the hardest one to admit. I just like things to be a certain way... but they can't always be... and I'm starting to learn how to accept that and go with the flow.... this is my biggest struggle right now. Pray for me? 

4. I Used to Be a Slob

I don't like to admit this because of how much of a neat person I am now. I don't like to look back at when my family and friends used to call me "Hurricane Kaycie" and admit that for most of my life, I was an extremely messy person. It makes me cringe now, but its something that I must admit. I was a slob. I mean, a SLOB. Clothes all over the place, bed left unmade day after day, not being able to see my floor... etc. My freshman year of college, there was a pile of clothes almost up to my bed at one point. (Sorry Bitsy and Labrina... I don't know how you lived with me.) I think it started to change my sophomore year, and now I can't go to sleep without my room being clean. I'm so glad that my messy days are over. 

5. I'm a Picky Eater

Another one that Asa has been waiting for me to admit. Hi, my name is Kaycie, and I'm a picky eater. There, said it. I have denied being a picky eater probably my whole life... but I can't deny it anymore. The more I analyze my eating and diet habits, the more I realize it. Don't get me wrong, I will try anything once... but if I don't like it the first time... good luck ever getting me to eat it again. I won't eat chicken on the bone, at all. Even if it's cut off the bone, I won't touch it. Yuck. I'll stick to Chicken Breasts. I will not even go near mushrooms. Beans? I'll pass. There are so many more things. I'm a picky eater. 

6. I'm Obsessed with Candles

Like, obsessed. I can't believe I've held back from getting a fall scented candle so far... probably because I'm flat broke. Anyway, there are currently 23 candles on Asa and I's wedding registry and I pretty much can't go to a store without finding the candle aisle, section, table, whatever. Yankee Candle stores are like heaven on earth and I could literally spend hours smelling them. HOURS. Also, if I really, really like a candle... I'll have it burned through in a week to two weeks depending on the size of it. It's bad. I think I get it from my Mom. :) 

7. I Stank at College

The whole college thing? Yeah, I wasn't very good at it. I did not get great grades by any means and I just wanted to socialize like, all the time. It wasn't until my last 4 semesters that I really started taking my academics seriously and picked my grades up off the ground. That means that for 6 semesters, 3 of my 5 years of college... I pretty much fluffed my way through. I lost a lot of friends and I wasn't very good at the social aspect either. I feel like college and high school were swapped for me... I was good at high school, and then college was my "awkward phase". Maybe I'm wrong, all I know is that I'm glad it's over. 

8. I'm a Major Home Body

Give me the choice to go out or stay home and cuddle, and I will choose to stay home almost every time. I do not know when this started at all. If I had to guess, I would say my last semester living on campus at Valley Forge. 95% of my friends had graduated and the others that didn't had a significant other on campus to spend time with or a more established group of friends that they spent their time with... which is fine, but I think that's why I really spent most of my time in my room during the week when I wasn't in class or at work and why I always went to Maryland on the weekends. It taught me to relax and take time for myself. I learned to love myself a lot more and de-stress. Now I think it's just a little crazy though. I've become a bit of a introverted (really ambi-verted) home body... and I'm learning that that's not necessarily bad. 

9. I Finally Actually Use a Planner

Remember when I said I was a slob? Yeah.... that included never using a planner. At all. Not even a phone calendar. I tried every single semester of college, and after a week it was collecting dust on my shelf. Maybe it's because I got a super cute Day Designer from Target, but I am finally learning the beauty of having and actually using a planner. I love it. I'm coming into my own with this whole organization thing, and it makes me really excited. 

10. God is Teaching Me to Lean on Him

There are SO MANY THINGS that are up in the air in my life right now. The unemployment struggle is real and I have no other choice but to trust and rely on God. This really all goes back to when I said that I like to be in control. I'm not in control of my life... I'm just not... and lately God has been reminding me of that in the most gentle, yet frustrating ways. He is in control and He is looking out for me, and I have to trust that. I have to lean on him in absolutely EVERY situation and allow Him to have complete control of my life, or there will be chaos. 

These are my confessions for you on this Monday afternoon. I've been real and honest with you guys, and I hope you enjoyed it! :) haha

Do any of these confessions relate to you? What would be some of your confessions lately? I would love to hear from you!